


hey i heard you were a wild one

by achilleees



Series: porn roommates AU [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleees/pseuds/achilleees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas dinner with the porn roommates family (Chuck, Raleigh, Herc, Yancy, Stacker and Mako). Raleigh has a present for Chuck.</p>
<p>Obligatory shenanigans and tomfoolery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hey i heard you were a wild one

**Author's Note:**

> the original summary: "porn roommates christmas dinner with chuck, raleigh, yancy, herc, stacker, and mako. raleigh gets chuck a puppy and everyone pretends to be surprised. hint: there is snark and banter."
> 
> It turned out slightly different than promised. Note: the song “whistle” came on my itunes shuffle just as I started writing this. I’m clearly doing god’s work, here.
> 
> note: this is written in like ~30 minutes and unedited, so, err, lower your standards for quality here.

Chuck opened the door and was assaulted by a near tangible wave of warmth and laughter and fresh-baked cookie smell. He smiled. “Y’can leave your boots on the stoop,” he said as his father came in behind him, toeing off his own shoes. “Presents go on the Christmas elliptical.”

Herc looked over at the elliptical, which was covered in colorful lights and baubles and glittery confectionery. “I see you two have been taking Christmas very seriously,” he said.

Chuck shrugged. “Bah, humbug.”

Raleigh came up behind him and kissed his neck, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Chuck’s trying to fatten me up by burying my exercise equipment in crap. He’s jealous of my pecs.”

“No, no,” Chuck said. “They’ve moved beyond pecs. You’ve upgraded to boobs, mate.”

“I think I’m almost a B-cup,” Raleigh said cheerfully. “C’mon, everyone else is in the kitchen.”

Chuck led them into the kitchen and pointed to the people gathered there. “Herc, you know Yancy, Raleigh’s obnoxious brother.”

Yancy saluted lazily.

“Mako, s’my father, Herc. She’s at uni with me, doing bioengineering.”

They shook hands.

“And Stacker, her –”

“Oi!”

Chuck jerked back at the sudden exclamation, courtesy of his father.

“Coyote fucking Tango,” Herc said with a half-smile and a shake of his head. He strode forward. “Never thought I’d see you again.”

“Lucky bloody Seven,” Stacker said, clasping his arm. They exchanged back claps, hard enough to knock the wind out of any normal person.

“You know each other?” Chuck asked, hoisting himself onto the counter by the stove so he could steal chunks of roast potato out of the ceramic serving dish on top.

Herc smiled. “Back in my air force days, yeah. How d’you know the boys, Stacks?”

Suddenly, everyone had something important to be staring at, as far away from Herc as possible. Raleigh nearly fell out of his chair trying to look out the window.

“Oh,” said Herc.

“Bottom’s up,” Raleigh said, and Yancy took a shot. He refilled his shot glass from a bottle of Jack on the table.

Mako noticed Chuck’s questioning look. “Yancy decided to play a drinking game where he takes a drink every time awkward situations arise from the mention of your… um.”

“Profession,” Yancy filled in.

“Porn,” Chuck said, rolling his eyes. “We do porn, Dad. Get over it.”

“Your sense of tact and delicacy is my favorite thing about you,” Raleigh said, patting his knee.

Chuck smiled, recognizing the phrasing from their very first scene together.

Mako choked, at which Raleigh’s eyes went wide.

“You _watched_ it?” Chuck asked, voice cracking.

Stacker covered his eyes with his hand.

“Christ,” Yancy muttered, doing another shot.

“Give me that,” Herc said, snagging the bottle of Jack away from him and taking a swig right out of it.

“So, dinner,” Raleigh said loudly.

“Sounds good.” Chuck started to clear off the kitchen table. “What’s that?” He picked up a large wrapped box.

Stacker jumped at the change of subject. “Tendo sends his regards, and appreciates the invitation, but he’s spending Christmas with Allison’s family. He gave me this for you, and said specifically to open it in front of everyone.”

Raleigh looked at Chuck, one eyebrow raised.

“Dildos,” Chuck confirmed, nodding.

Herc coughed on his Jack.

“Son of a bitch,” Yancy said, doing another shot. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

“Maybe,” Chuck said, grinning. He started to rip through the wrapping paper.

“Wait, hang on,” Yancy said.

“Oh!” Mako slapped her hand over Chuck’s to keep him from opening the box. “Why don’t you wait until after dinner?”

Everyone looked at Raleigh, who looked back blankly for a second before recognition set in. “Right! Um, let’s save that one.” He set the box on the floor.

Chuck pouted, but saw that he was fighting a losing battle. He finished clearing the table and got out their fanciest paper plates and plastic cutlery. In short order, everyone was crammed in around the small kitchen table, elbows knocking, tucking into plates piled high with ham and potatoes and cranberry sauce.

Chuck, feeling a kind of amused pity for Yancy’s already glassy eyes and flushed cheeks, didn’t bring up the porn thing again. He was doing a good job of it until Sasha and Aleksis showed up halfway through the meal.

There was a knocking on the door, and Raleigh half-stood before the door opened and Sasha’s accented voice called, “Knock knock, Danger and others! We brought present.”

“Is that…?” Chuck started to stand.

Herc yanked him back down as Raleigh went into the foyer. They heard him explain something in a hushed whisper, followed by Aleksis’ booming laugh.

Sasha and Aleksis appeared in the doorway as Raleigh’s steps vanished upstairs. “Just bringing present, nothing to see here,” Sasha said, smiling. “Hello, Pentecost and mini Pentecost and Striker and big Striker and drunk Danger.”

“Hey Sasha, Aleksis,” said Yancy, grinning.

There was a rustling from upstairs, and Raleigh’s laughter.

Sasha cast her eyes up fondly. “We must be going, see Sanja’s mother.” She made a face, and Aleksis pinched her side. “Enjoy present, Striker! Is clothing from garbage behind Urban Outfitters, so you can expand wardrobe.”

Chuck flipped her off. Herc cocked his head to the side curiously. Yancy took a shot.

Raleigh came back downstairs just as they left and slid back into his chair, winking at Chuck.

“I don’t want to know why she was calling you Striker, do I?” Herc asked in a low rumble.

“Not really, no,” Chuck said.

There was a high-pitched yip from upstairs.

Chuck’s eyes went wide. “Was that –”

“I didn’t hear anything.” Mako cut in quickly.

Another yip from upstairs. Raleigh grinned at Chuck.

“I swear I heard something bark,” Chuck said.

“That was Yancy,” Raleigh said.

Everyone looked at Yancy.

“That was you?” Chuck said, and felt Mako kick Yancy under the table.

Yancy barked.

“No, it was higher than that,” Chuck said.

Yancy barked higher.

“Yeah, like that. Why’re you barking?”

Yancy shrugged. “’m drunk,” he said, as if that explained anything.

“Fair enough,” Chuck said.

They dug back into the meal, which was punctuated by tiny yips from upstairs that were immediately covered by everyone at the table bursting into loud, guttural coughs.

Chuck stared around at all of them. “You all have gone completely bungers, haven’t you.”

“Must’ve caught cold,” Herc said.

Chuck banged his fist on the table. “No, seriously. You're totally mental. Yancy’s barking and Mako’s carrying around dog treats in her pocket – don’t try to hide it, I saw them!” he added as her hand leapt to cover the packet.

Everyone was silent for a moment.

“Well?” Chuck demanded.

“She eats them,” Raleigh blurted.

Chuck stared. “What?”

“She eats them,” Stacker echoed, nodding solemnly. “It’s an addiction.”

Chuck turned to Mako, one eyebrow raised.

“It is… my greatest shame,” Mako said, tucking her head down.

“No bloody way,” said Chuck. “I don’t believe it.”

“Seriously! She’ll prove it!” Raleigh said. “Isn’t that right, Mako?” 

Chuck felt Yancy kick Mako under the table.

“Oh. Yes.” Mako said, smiling tightly. “Of course.”

Chuck watched, fascinated, as Mako took a little bone-shaped biscuit from the plastic bag. She took in a quick breath, then popped it into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

“Holy shit,” Chuck said in an exhale. “You actually fucking did it.”

Raleigh started cracking up behind his hand, while Yancy didn’t even try to hide it. Even Stacker’s shoulders were shaking suspiciously.

“I think it’s time for me to give you your present,” Raleigh said, standing up. He ruffled Mako’s hair. “I’m just not this cruel.”

“Wait, hold up,” Chuck said, rising to his feet. “Before you get your present, I wanna give you mine.”

Everyone looked over.

Chuck swept out his arms grandly. “I give you… the look on everyone’s face when they find out that I've known you were getting me a puppy for two months now.”

"Oh you little wanker," Herc said, a beat before everyone else got that Chuck had been setting them up the whole time.

Raleigh laughed long and hard at the little growling sound Yancy made. Chuck was just glad he’d been watching Mako when he said that. He’d never seen someone so personally betrayed.

“I ate dog treats for you,” Mako said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“And it was bloody hilarious. Now fetch,” Chuck said, shooing Raleigh upstairs.

Raleigh vanished upstairs and returned moments later with a wriggling golden retriever puppy, nearly dwarfed by his huge hands.

Everybody made the exact same breathy cooing sound.

“Oh fuck, she’s perfect,” said Chuck, heartfelt. He took the puppy from Raleigh; his heart may or may not have grown three sizes when the puppy sniffed his hands and sneezed all over him. He grinned at Raleigh. “Her name’s Danger, right? S’gotta be Danger. Little blond muppet with her paws bigger than her face.”

“Whatever you want, babe,” Raleigh said, kissing his cheek.

“Danger?” Herc asked, forehead wrinkling.

Raleigh coughed.

Yancy took a shot.


End file.
